TRUE friendship is one of life’s gifts. If we have true friends, we are genuinely blessed.

I think learning about the nature of true friendship is one of the early life lessons we all go through. If we are lucky, we find our tribe early on, or even just one true friend, to carry us through the turmoil of school years and beyond.

But often finding such friendship can be difficult, especially when we don’t fit in, for whatever reason.

I know many children of school age experience this, and when I sense it in my storytelling work in schools, I want to say to them, hang on in there, because not fitting in and being different is actually quite common, and although it can be really difficult, you will find your space, your tribe, your purpose and your true friends.

I understand the struggle because school, especially high school, was a daily gauntlet for me. I was that kid who was different and, to make matters worse, after I’d finally found some good friends to rely on, I had to move town and school, mid-term during high school.

It took me months to make a friend in my new school but, when I did, that was all that was needed. One true and good friend got me through the rest of high school. I will always be thankful to him and for our friendship. We have lost touch now, but I often search for him online just in case he’d be interested in reuniting. So far, no luck, but who knows what will happen tomorrow?

Some folks have tons of friends and pals, but that’s never really been me. I have always had a smaller band of close and trusted friends, who know me to my soul, and while all of them together may not add up to a big party, their significance in my life is not measured by how many they are, but how much they mean, and the difference they make.

The photo is of a cafetière given to me by such a friend. It was bought second hand as an unexpected gift. He told me it was inexpensive, but for me, its value is not measured in money, but in the thought and action of true friendship. My friend knows me and he understands the importance of coffee for me.

I already have a cafetière but it’s partially broken, the plunger has lost its top, and in addition it is made of glass and so doesn’t keep my coffee hot for long. But it works and I’ve lived with it for over a year, as I have this thing in my head about not throwing things out just because they aren’t perfect.

But last weekend, I was with my friend at a festival. I took my cafetière with me and he watched as the plunger dug into my palm and how quickly the coffee cooled, making my second cup less satisfying. He said nothing, he just watched and quietly understood.

Later, when I was home, he came to visit. He’d gone out of his way to buy me a second-hand cafetière which not only has a handle atop the plunger but is also insulated, so my coffee will stay hot for a longer period.

My old one I could keep in reserve, he suggested, as the new one wouldn’t hurt my palm and would keep the coffee hot.

But the true gift was not in the quality of the product but in the depth of thoughtfulness that it represented. It was an act of true and deep friendship, and now every morning when I drink my coffee, and have that second cup just as hot as the first, I will be reminded of his friendship and kindness.

So the cafetière he gave me is not just a coffee maker, it’s a symbol of how we can be towards each other. I am so lucky to be his friend, but I also know his kindness and generosity extends way beyond his friendship circle. His kindness, empathy and thoughtfulness are what this world so desperately needs more of. When I think of all the cruelty and hate, all the violence and injustice in the world, my friend’s thoughtful and unexpected gift is an antidote.

Maybe a cafetière won’t change the world, but this one, and what it represents, has made a difference.